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Friday, October 28th, 2005

(2 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:IMa eat yo kids if you dont come to this!
Time:12:37 pm.
Mood: chipper.
October 28th - Show at Midnight, doors at 11 PM
October 29th - Show at Midnight, doors at 11 PM
October 30th - Show at 7:30 PM, doors at 6:30 PM
October 31st - Doors at 10 PM, King Haku's Jesters at 10:30 PM, movie at midnight
28th - 30th -- $5
31st -- $6
Student Night - Sunday Oct 30th -- $3 w/valid ID
Umass Dartmouth Auditorium
185 Old Westport road
North Dartmouth, MA, 02747
(Park in parkinglots 4 or 5)
"So come up to the lab, and see whats on the slab!"

Thursday, October 13th, 2005

(Show your fangs)

Time:1:47 pm.

How is everyone?

Dont forget to add my new name to your elljaigh. because i miss you guys.



Sunday, September 4th, 2005

(Show your fangs)

Subject:good ridence
Time:11:08 pm.
Id like to say fuck the sadness. fuck the change, fuck the wahtever...

heres the new name: damn_hearts

add me!

Adios fab!

_love to hate, hate to me_

Thursday, September 1st, 2005

(Show your fangs)

Time:1:46 am.
I cant believe he's really not coming back.

I saw the transcripts.

Tuesday, August 30th, 2005

(2 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:You believe in ghosts and i believe in vampires
Time:2:59 pm.
Mood: creative.
I think the best thing about the past week and more has been that i havent had to pay for any of my boose at all. I feel trailer trash-like. Just all boose infested and smokey. Lets count. Monday i drank at matts, tuesday i slept over lizs, wednesday i drank at tony despezios and carries, thursday i went to amandas hippie party and had a drink, friday drank for smoothie night at carries, saturday drank at carries with the boys, sunday went to mikes, monday drank at chappy with the boys and marshfield ladies.


But i was happy to see lauren and ann briefly with the howe ladytons.

Chappy is more fabulous when you get everyone drunk, destroy everything, go drunken swiming, and walk away from the flames in the night.

I really like this buffy. I almost forgot how much i like Spike. And i cant decipher whether i like him or Angel better. Angel was vicious. "But, come on now, Angel is clearly gay."- Spike. lol. But Spike was the original badass. I love how i analyze buffy.

I also like my laptop on random. Because the best music comes out that way. Im seeing some Mashups coming. WOAH Jude Harrison.

So i like this new me. Its a little reserved, still insane, more girly, a bit more confident. Not by much. I solve more of my problems, take care of myself more, more responsible, cut my hair, but you cant tell unless its down, and ive been packing like woah. Ive just been more determined.

Im embracing Umassdartmouth with all ive got, and it better not reject me.

Im not really afraid of the silly things anymore. Im just doing it.

Im also eating better. thank goodness. well aside from that mcgriddle vaughn brought me at 4am. but that was drunk food.

Speaking of Vaughn, he slept over because he couldnt go home. It was nice because we just slept. It was not nice because lately im not used to sharing a bed with someone unless its Elliott James. I couldnt sleep for awhile. I stayed awake watching a slideshow of all the times i miss with Ell, just forming right about my eyes, dancing. Finally the mind and the heart agree on something.

ive been trashy lately. Just because of all the drinking. I plan on slowing it down a bit. You dont have to tell me to be careful, or that youre worried. Its been noted. Everyone is leaving, and everyone wants a big bang.

Woah! i have to delete my aol on saturday. And my livejournal. Actually i dont think im going to delete my livejournal, because i like to read the old entries. Ill just have to retire it. That parting entry should be a doosy.

Im looking wide eyed, and i see no ending.

Thursday is the last hurrah with the Fredd's. Sad to know Elliott James will not be by my side. Its not the same without him.

Haha theres something about being barely awake that makes it erotic.

I cant wait to find .... YOU!

_love to hate, hate to me_

Thursday, August 25th, 2005

(1 Vampire Kiss | Show your fangs)

Subject:Fuck it.
Time:1:41 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
I spent all of yesterday shopping. Its crazy. My trunk is full of a new begining.

We decided no lachey last night. So Carrie and Robin picked me up and we went to Tony Despezio's party for a bit. They were on their way to Sam Solworth's party so we went to Carrie's and hung out with Kate, Jojo, Jaime, Sean, and Tevis. We were all sitting in a circle, and they were all smoking, so i had to pass the bowls around. There were 3 bowls going around at the same time i was amazed lol. Then Jojo, Kate, and Jaime left, Derrick and Laura came over and we played a few rounds of asshole. Lauren called and fucked up our game but its ok because we love her and Liz. I think i was only asshole twice. Which is amazing because im usually asshole all the time. lol. And last round i was Pres bitches. Then Laura and i went to mcdonalds. I was drunk again, and we got food and passed out. lol.

I came up with a good idea to bring Elise flowers, but no one wanted to because it was too funny.

Tonight was supposed to be the rescheduled lachey night but im not sure whats going on. Its just ive been busy saying goodbye to people kind of. And then shopping, i havent cleaned yet. And im not sure if i want to have all those people over again, when i need to be packing, and its just going to mess up the basment even more than it already is. Plus besides that, Monday and Wednesday ive been hammered. Then tomorrow i will be again because its Robin and Amanda's going away party. I dont know. Im ranting. Im a fucking alcoholic this week.

More recent news in my fucked life, Elliott is not coming home until this year is over. Now, i dont understand what the hell his mother is thinking at all, but that idea seems a bit retarted to me. Either make him move there, or let him come home. Its ridiculous. Lets just fuck with everyones emotions for a year and see how it goes. I can feel us drifting already. He's one of those people i need in my life. I cant do this whole internet best friends thing. When am i going to have time for that? I dont know. I feel like our friendship is falling apart. A couple of months ago we seemed endless. I pray this doesnt break us, but i feel like it may.

Bad vibes.

Tuesday was well spent with my wife elizabeth. Twas weird seeing all of her belongings on the pool table. It just makes this transition moreso real than ever.

Does anyone want to see me?

Im fine. its just in the back of my head, i know next week is going to be a cave of fire.

Ready to burn.

"i believe in you so much i would die for the words that you say"

_love to hate, hate to me_

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

(3 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:Mack Truck
Time:12:56 pm.
Mood: fucking oy.
Im very hungover.

Party was very awesome. There were a bunch of people there that ive been friendly with, but not really chums. lol. Lets see if i can remember some of the people who were there... Emily Macdonald, Cameron McCurdy, Liz, Kira, Alex, Laura Needre, Sarah Clayton, Lish, Eric McCoy, Big Mike, Sean (dont know his last name), Rachel, Katherine Esswein, Haley Coookingham, Justin Androkonis, Ali Pettite, Marissa Mitchel, Jenny Shutten, Robin Abaid, Carrie, Mike Routtono, John, Billy Wixon, and way more people, but i cant remember just because thinking about anything last night makes me want to puke. I had so much fun though. I drank two party cups full of captain morgans and like 4 beers. Oy.

So now i cant eat anything. Well, ummm, i can only eat flavor blasted Goldfish and can only drink Orange Juice. Yeah, thats it.

Buffy is on.

I think i need to lie down.

"man that was awkward"

_love to hate, hate to me_

Monday, August 22nd, 2005

(1 Vampire Kiss | Show your fangs)

Subject:Oh yas
Time:2:20 am.
Im pretty sure that the party i have been craving all summer, is tonight.


Sunday, August 21st, 2005

(Show your fangs)

Time:2:17 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
My problem is quite simple. I've been given a valid excuse to runaway from everyone, and while its elightening, and a worthy excuse, i still feel overwhelmed with the people i am leaving. Granted, im not going to be far. Just about 45 minutes to be exact. It's just, its not the same as being here. I feel like this summer was good, yet somewhat wasted. Ive seen everyone, but yet i havent.

I feel like im less interesting. I dont want to be some reserved girl, just to people's standards. I dont want to play games, i dont want to dance around big words.

Im not sure if i should be as content with myself as i am right now.

I want to say im scared, but i feel ridiculous saying that because i honestly think ill be fine. But me being so confident about being fine is scaring me. Of course i would work like that, because im always a complication.

I just hope i can end this summer with all of my friends. For once i want to do it right. And i mean everyone. Sometimes they think im not talking about them, but i am talking about you all. Thats what everyone means to me.

Sorry for this semi cryptic entry. It was bound to happen.

In two weeks, this journal will be gone. And ill have a new start.


_love to hate, hate to me_

(Show your fangs)

Subject:Just so everyone knows
Time:1:52 pm.
Mood: content.
Im most likely going to be listening to the same cd everytime i update, for atleast the next 2 months. Atleast.


(2 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:"I took like 14 hits of ecstacy in 15 minutes before i got here"
Time:3:16 am.
Mood: sore.
I really need to stop saying that word.

Tonight was the show at the palladium. We (Mike, Josh, Elysha,Katie, and I) are waiting in line, and we find crazy justin and kevintitties, so we hung out with them in line. then i was thinking about the whereabouts of my twin, and he drove by, stopped, and made a face. so weird. We met some chill kids from Salem and a few kids from NH. We broke out into Kelly Clarkson, and they loved my shirt. The loved ones played, they were ok. Then Comeback Kid went on and all hell broke loose. There was a really funny girl i became friends with because she had an awkward moment and screamed when no one else did, which i thought was fucking hilarious. I really liked Comeback though. I had like 15 people screaming "Booker is my twin" and he didnt hear, he just kept looking around like stevie wonder. FATA (Just incase: From Autumn To Ashes) went on and they were ok, but i got pretty bored during their set. The first few songs where stellar. After their set, i finally got the twin's attention and he came over to chat over twinage, hugs, and mike trying to steal him away from me. lol. Nigga mike. Rise Against went on. They were really good. Half way someone grabbed my shoulder and sang and it was twinage. Finally i left the front, which was the best thing ever, and i went towards the pit, where Mr. Falls tapped on my shoulder and said hello. Oh yes, Matt Lahey, Justin Androkonis, and Rachael were there. Weird. I didnt see Angeloo. Sadness. Anyways, pit was the most fun, last song i started my own mini pit alone and ended up in the big one. I love being near/in the pit. As soon as i got back there i got kicked in the face, and felt a lot better. So many people crowdsurfed and fell. Like, just the bouncers didnt catch them. Hahaha. And their were catty girls, smacking girls while surfing. Rise Against stopped playing for a sec because three bouncers started to beat the shit out of this one kid, just becaus he crowd surfed and was going to jump again from the baracades. Lame. Im forgetting everything else, but oh well.

We got home quick. Instead of going home to sleep Elysha, Katie and i dropped off the boys and went to Meganset to hang out with Big Will and Jesse Applebottom at like 2am. So funny. I think Jesse is hilarious. Sometimes i just sit and listen to him and pee my pants. We tried to catch a moonjellie, but we were uncoordinated.

I really want to someday actually hang out with twinage. He's so awesome-tastic, lacking in the possum area. And i really liked his hair. Its cool than mine, which isnt cool, since we are twins.

Errmf, today, free show, hyannis, three feet short benefit concert? Sounds good. Get to meet Katie's new emolush boyfriend. He has a nice voice, which means he'll be cool.

So night. Ooh i found a new myspace pic. Ok night.

"When everything seems like the movies"

_love to hate, hate to me_

Saturday, August 20th, 2005

(Show your fangs)

Subject:They said its gotta be different.
Time:12:58 am.
Mood: calm.
Kandyce and i dance in my car a lot.

Hyannis Sound was amazing tonight. Kind of. I dont like being in Hyannis . Falmouth shows are much better. Ed Boyer, Jim Harrington, Townsing, and someone else i didnt know were there. Everytime i saw Jim all i could hear was the begining of that switchfoot song. And i just wanted to make out with ed. lol. Andy sang Britney Spears, Micah did literally the funniest Stevie Wonder impression ive seen in sometime. Paul doesnt swim with seals, but matt does. And matt wore sunglasses provided by me, Arjun danced around in circles, Robbie is clearly the funniest story teller, Doug was about to do a western tune and said "Does anyone have a cowboy hat?" and joey added "or a boa?" hahahha Cooper job hunted with a shiney shirt, and Tim had his 21rst. And im bleeding, from my elbow. Hyannis Sound minus Joey, Micah, Tim, and Arjun, ARgy all the boys from last summer, will be back febuary 18 in falmouth.

I cant get over how good Instant Star was tonight. You must watch. I think it was actually better than the degrassi episode tonight.

Today im bringing the howe crew to Rise Against. that will be awesome. Comeback kid and fata, and the twin, and angeloooo. Such great sexx. I have a feeling if i see undiscovered im going to be depressed for awhile about love. Im scared.

I fucking hate the new GVB.

i havent written a good entry in awhile. like one with meaning. one with cryptic messages. Someday soon.

This coming week is all things school. instead of rock. lame.


"in the dress your husband hates"

_love to hate, hate to me_

Thursday, August 18th, 2005

(2 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:ill never be clean again
Time:12:08 am.
Mood: dirty.
I havent written in awhile. And i dont remember anything im supposed to write about... soo...

Saturday i hung out with the howe crew. It was nice. Mike did this weird thing to my neck, it felt like a fairytale. We went night swimming and made the boys jump naked.

Monday i went to warped tour. It was like the nu wave version of woodstock. tons of mudd. I took off my shoes and walked around all day in the squishy mudd. Which means i have aids or something. We all jumped in the mudd and became friends with the mudd people. I wish i had gone with different people. I had fun, but not as much fun as i would have had if i had went either alone or with different people. Oh well. I met the greatest people during MCRs set. One of them reminded me of Ryan. Amazing. Danced like crazy. Being alone and just being crazy is the way to be. And i saw Rdooog. Time litterally stopped. Felt quite wonderful.

Tuesday i rested all day and then hung out with Taylor, Angela, Amy,Emily, Ashley, Taylor, Chase, Brendan, Eggy, and like a thousand other people at the wall. Nice times. Didnt do much and i was exhausted. Took myspace pics with Angela and played with lip venom. Yum.

Tonight i went night swimming with the howes again. There were 098234983209432097423840932 moon jellies just swarming around everyone. Lafre and Lauren came by and we all reminiced about the lovely lachey night. There will be another one soon. I hope it goes well.

I babysit all day today and then i dont know what im doing. Friday night im going to hyannis sounds last hurra, so if you want to go or know where exactly that church is, let me know.

I say, im boring.

I miss. I love. I conquer.

Im happy Ryano and i are talking again.

♥ night

"Well i miss you so far"

_love to hate, hate to me_

Saturday, August 13th, 2005

(1 Vampire Kiss | Show your fangs)

Subject:Lights will guide you home
Time:9:54 pm.
Mood: amused.
My roomate called me back today.

Real quick: shes really nice. Shes friends with the dropkick murphys and babysits for the leads god child, very cool. Shes going to warped on monday, she has a boyfriend, she has a good report with her family, or atleast her mother from what i can tell. She calls her mom, mommy. lol. She babysits and works at her uncles flower shop. What else? She is not sxe, thank goodness. I would have been able to deal with a sxe roomie, but her not being sxe is better. She said something about her sister buying her alcohol, i dont know if that was a joke or not. I dont remember. she has a really cool voice. which leads me to believe she is fucking gorgeous, which is cool i just hope she doesnt mind that i am not. We are into the same bands, she likes shows, and she thinks we are going to get along great which is cool, because i do too.

So im pretty happy as of now.

Im at the Howe's we are going swimming then i dont know what.

Another tattoo i am getting is "we live like vampires and we love like killers", only in latin.

Call me.

_love to hate, hate to me_

(Show your fangs)

Subject:Im waiting.
Time:12:03 am.
Mood: confused.
This 311 song and for a second i nearly cried.
I mean honestly, who cries to 311, even if just for a half of a second.

Tonight i feel emotionally out of key. I think ive seen too many love scenes from tv.

I want that though. I want that.

I called my roomate today, got her answering machine. Left a cute message, thats all. the balls in her court.


This isnt a good night for me.

All American Rejects' new cd is better than theyre debut cd.

FOK bye.

Don't even think about reachin' me
I won't be home
Don't even think about stoppin' by
Don't think of me at all
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...

Don't even think of gettin' inside
Voices in my head, voices
I got scratches, all over my arms
One for each day, since I fell apart
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...

Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my test, it was you
It was you...

I did, what I had to do
And if there was a reason
Oh, there wasn't no reason, no
And if, there's something you'd like to do
Just let me continue, to blame you

Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my chest, it was you, you

I love pearl jam.

_love to hate, hate to me_

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005

(3 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Time:4:46 pm.
Mood: ick.

Ha i miss this.

So, Danny boy  (holding the middle finger up) sent me a myspace message today which made my day. Here:

"i miss u 2... i was in a new band 2.... we`were gonna ttour and shit.. we wouldve chilled again.... but nope they kicked me out... fill me in on ur life.. lets never loose touch!!! we can be friends to the frinedly end "
So im going to write him back now. I just wanted to share that.
And i just met like the most awesome freshman going to UMD. She IMed me and confessed her love for degrassi and it was peaches from there. lol.
Oh Degrassi, bringing the world together, one day at a time.
And i talked to EJaimes today. Hes coming home monday night.  because im going to pick him up after warped lol.
Oh yes, So i cant go to the last falmouth Hyannis Sound show. Unless, all the bands i want to see at warped are playing early in the day, but still its a stretch. Im upset , but im still going to the other 3 shows.
_love to hate, hate to me_

(15 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:Woah she
Time:11:35 am.
What the fuck.

Since when does Jen Linley die?

Did this happen when i stopped watching Dawsons Creek? And she has a baby girl too!? What? And why does she die?

Anyways, my nose is dying.

More on that later,

_love to hate, hate to me_

(4 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:"welcome to cape cod, i hope you enjoyed your shopping experience"
Time:1:05 am.

So, after hours of children, i went to the green to see Baard. He gave me a huge hug, it was awesome because ive missed him. The whole enviroment was good, there were just some minor setbacks, or one. But whatever. His set was so fun, i love how we remember the little things they dont do anymore, and how happy it makes him.

After the show i went out to dinner with the hottest girl alive and some amazing people. It was quite funny. Aka, when chase dumped the entire thing of cheez on his pizza, and drawing lobster pics.

Then we went to the Wall, Cape cod beatdown went down. So funny. Ive been wanting to fuck some tourist up for awhile now, and tonight was the night. lol. I love those people.
"Ill buy you a tshirt if you shut the fuck up"

Then, i got to see Carrie. I am so happy she is back. All will be normal for the rest of summer

Id write more but my head is about to explode.

No more dragon after this box.

_love to hate, hate to me_

Tuesday, August 9th, 2005

(Show your fangs)

Time:2:10 pm.

I really want to call my roomie. But im definetely nervous.

I think im going to call her tomorrow.

Just because, i dont have her number with me right now.


Hyannis Sound was wondertastic. I feel bummed that Joey is leaving. And that theres only one more Falmouth show left. I get into it later.

_love to hate, hate to me_

(10 Vampire Kisses | Show your fangs)

Subject:Woah Crazy.
Time:10:49 am.
Mood: excited.

I officially consider myself to be apart of the UMass Dartmouth school. I have my room number, and room mate, which i will be calling sometime this week. It sucks she doesnt have facebook, and i cant find her on myspace, which doesnt mean she doesnt have it, it just means myspace is too complicated to find her. But...

Maple Ridge
Room 322C-1
Roomie: Emily Murray. Weymouth,MA


If anyone knows this girl, and reads my journal, for some odd coincidence, let me know.

Back to babysitting.

Yea that was pretty lame of you.

And i need to call EJaimes.

Wheres the Eighty-Six show? I need one.


"We've reached the point of no return"

_love to hate, hate to me_

LiveJournal for Die Confessions.

View:User Info.
View:Website (The Poetry page).
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.